Heteroromantic Asexuals are straight.
Heterosexual Aromantics are straight.
You can’t just choose “Not to identify” with privilege !
So then Bisexual or Pansexual people who date primarily members of the opposite sex are straight too?
That makes so much sense now.
Because if you can pass as straight, then you’re obviously not LGBTQIA+, right?stop dragging bi people into this i am /literally/ bi and if one more person compares my (very real) experiences with biphobia/homophobia to ~aphobia~ im going to lose it.
I didn’t say “pass as straight” i said straight. because cishet aros and cishet aces are straight. they are literally straight. Hetero. Str8. Bi people are Not Straight. Cishet Aro/ace people Are Straight. Go away.
I’m also bi and these arguments are literally two steps away from the shit people have said to me, about me, or about other bi people I’ve followed.
Cae-herondale is right.
Privilege isn’t just how society treats you (the idea that it is, is a transphobic mentality that leads to trans women not being let into women’s spaces because of their “male privilege”/”male socialization”), it’s also what you internalize from society.
The closet is not a privilege.
I’m not SAYING that ace people should be “closeted” i’m saying that SOME OF THEM ARE STRAIGHT. stop misinterpreting me and twisting my words.
I am not twisting your words.
You are appearing to me to say this:
“asexual people who are cis and romantically involved with the conventionally opposite gender exclusively, should be treated in the same way as allosexual people who are cis and romantically involved with the conventionally opposite gender exclusively.”
Because we’re talking about aces and aros who are “cishet,” but still identify as asexual.
Your position seems to be that their identity as asexuals is not enough to include them in the group of Non-Straight people, because (this seems to be your reasoning) they are still treated as Straight by society.
My position is that society does not treat them as Straight. Society assumes they are straight, but the assumption has effects that suppress or punish their asexuality. This is an example of the closet. It is suffering under the assumption of straightness.
It is a similar experience to trans people who “pass” as their assigned gender, or bisexual/pansexual people who appear to be with partners of the conventionally opposite gender. Their straightness is assumed, but this assumption is “heterosexist” (for lack of a better term) violence. I have experienced both these forms of hetero*sexism, so I can testify they are similar.
If I am still getting this wrong, then I think it’s because I don’t understand the definition of “straight” you are using. You may want to clarify it.
Because as people who do not experience sexual and/or romantic attraction, from my perspective, aces and aros can never be straight.
Straight people experience romantic and sexual attraction as part of Straightness, in the same way they experience “opposite”-gender sexual/romantic attraction exclusively, and identify with their birth-assigned gender.
That’s my definition of “straight,” and given the aphobic violence people have experienced, it seems to be society’s as well.
What definition are you using?
(Also this felt like it turned out circular in phrasing and I used too many big words and sentences because I’m tired; if someone wants to try to make this cognitively accessible that would be great)
Because the sexual coercion, dismissing as a problem/illness/disability to fix, and other such abusive things I’ve directly experienced over my asexuality are apparently not worth considering.
And let’s not dismiss that. The line of logic that dismisses sexual coercion is the same logic that dismisses rape. It’s just in a friendlier box.
I’m heteroromantic, as best as I can tell, but that’s not really the point. The point is I “defaulted” to straight for a long time because I had no better words. I got mapped to gay because I wasn’t “straight enough”… but I was also sure that didn’t fit. Only when I found ace/aro was a thing did ANYTHING make sense.
Why is so much more of this making its way onto my dash lately? I followed these blogs for info and support and I’ve been seeing WAY more of this shit in the last 6 months.
I’d normally not participate in this because I’ve seen none of it off Tumblr, so I’ve been justifiably avoiding it. That speaks volumes for the screwy culture forming here.
So, this is all I’m going to say:
People map what they don’t understand to the closest thing they do. They assume, usually harmfully. This includes yourself. Awareness is a good thing. By denying and dismissing it, you deny people like me a way to describe and discover themselves properly.
This is not a contest. All I want is more visibility and acceptance, so what I’ve been through maybe doesn’t happen to others, so maybe someone like me hears the word “asexual” and figures themselves out a bit at an earlier age than 22.
Who is harmed by that? Nobody.
That is all.