A counterpart to my “Bad OS Ideas” post.
- When you port your application onto another operating system, don’t change the keyboard shortcuts. On Mac, require the user to press Control, and on PC, require the user to press the OS modifier key.
- If you’re making a game, only keep a database of graphics cards that were outdated by the time of release, and default to the lowest settings on unrecognized cards to the user has to manually change it on their 980 Ti
- If you’re porting it to Mac, just slap on an emulation layer that pretends it is a Windows XP machine with 2GB RAM, regardless of how much RAM the Mac actually has
- Require a CD to be in the drive when the user runs the program
- Hard-code the application path so if the user installs it anywhere but the C: drive your program will break
- Require the user to register it, even if your program offers no online features
- After the user registers, spam their email with promotions
- Make the user pay $5 for any little update
- Only have the license last 2 years but never state this
- Make sure to have the user sell their soul to Satan when they accept the EULA
- Include your own custom window style that clashes with the rest of the operating system
- Only support each major version 6 months after the next one is released
- Require the OS to be the most up-to-date version
- Package critical utilities as 16-bit programs so it won’t work on 64-bit Windows systems
- Inject as much useless bullshit into the Windows registry as you can possibly think of, and don’t remove any of it when the user uninstalls the software
- Bundle McAfee, Flash Player, Google Chrome, and the Ask.com toolbar with your program
- Write the program entirely in Java
- Require the user to like your Facebook page before they can use the program
- Require 2-step verification with the user’s cell phone every single time they open the program on their computer
- Make your program only work on Windows 98, and don’t say this until after the user has installed their program
- Don’t take advantage of multiple cores if your program really needs them
Why do I feel like this is a list of features that will be included in Sims 5
Because part of this was me venting after running the Sims 3 on Mac