Month: March 2016

skillzyo:

I’m going to establish myself as a writer who never writes straight relationships. Then, one fateful day, I’m going to introduce a straight couple. I will make them the healthiest straight relationship ever without ever saying they are a couple. I’ll keep it subtext most of the time. Still, they will be as well developed as my plethora of gay-ass characters. Then, just after subtext becomes maintext and they’ve finally admitted their feelings for one another and given in to those feelings

I’m going to kill one of them off for drama

theshinymew:

ilarual:

phantomrose96:

I hardcore headcanon that Ed became something of a mythical figure to the Amestrian military (and probably Amestrian public) after the Promised Day

Like immediately afterward he goes home and stays home to help Al recover, then travels the West as like a scholar, then settles down with Winry and has kids–it’s pretty obvious he never went back to the military at any point during that, and that he’s stayed well and far out of the public eye.

So what’s that leave the military with? “Hey you heard of Edward Elric?” “Oh yeah isn’t he that dude who passed the state alchemy exam at 12, punched God in the face, toppled the whole military coup with Fuhrer Mustang, and vanished? Yeah he had a cubby here for like…4 years.”

And with so many people knowing half-truths about what really happened in Amestris, I fully believe that hundreds of fantastically stupid and marginally correct rumors spread about Ed. “I heard Ed Elric met God twice.” “I heard he’s the only person to ever successfully break the core law of alchemy.” “I heard he’s a 4,000 year old prophet who discovered immortality and that’s why he’s so skilled.” “I heard he fought a tank.” “I heard God personally took his limbs away and that’s why he’s half-metal.” 

“I heard he actually invented alchemy.”

“I heard he once beat up Fuhrer Mustang with his own hands.” 

Like it’s the most central, prominent piece of small talk among new recruits–who knows the best little factoids about the child prodigy who hangs with God and saved the world and disappeared Jesus-style immediately after. Mustang walks out into press conferences, maximum security with reporters clamoring to lobby their questions at the leader of the entire nation, and somehow he always ends up with a flood of “Can you confirm?” tall tales about Ed.

“Fuhrer, is it true that Edward Elric discovered how to transmute his soul into a higher plane of existence and so he quit the military to achieve the status of a god?” 

“Edward Elric is a 32 year old man who lives in a farmhouse out east and raises sheep part-time. Last I heard from him he was learning how to make raspberry pie and trying to teach his daughter how to count to 7. Who the hell feeds you this information? Next Question

So what I’m hearing here is that Ed Elric jokes are the Amestrian equivalent of Chuck Norris jokes.

i heard Edward Elric is shredded. I heard he has an 8 pack

spellbreaks: inkscratch: one of my warcraft characters, a trans dude named Eugeron i made an undead and he’s very sweet and generally enjoys undeath

spellbreaks:

inkscratch:

one of my warcraft characters, a trans dude named Eugeron

i made an undead and he’s very sweet and generally enjoys undeath

stickysheep: keuppy: rifa: officialsmashmouth: thok-ast-thok: kaijuno: sillysurgeon: ted: Our new Monday morning best friend. This smart table will bother you until you get all the stuff you need in your bag – including breakfast. THANKS, TABLE!Wanna know how it works?

stickysheep:

keuppy:

rifa:

officialsmashmouth:

thok-ast-thok:

kaijuno:

sillysurgeon:

ted:

Our new Monday morning best friend. This smart table will bother you until you get all the stuff you need in your bag – including breakfast. THANKS, TABLE!

Wanna know how it works? Watch today’s TED talk on touch technology – from the guy who created this and many other shape-shifting designs. (From the geniuses at TEDxCERN.)

what the fuck man

just fucking launch their phone into the ceiling they dont fucking need it

thank you future wiggle table

why would i need a table that nervously jostles my possessions around while frantically repeating vague advice when i already do all that myself

The Anxiety Table

Fucked up a perfectly good table, look at it, it has anxiety.

What if the table went off at 3am while you’re in your room tho

i’m going to attach so many bad dragon dildos to my smart wiggle table and have me a fun ride 

starvingfartist:

Can Tumblr ever talk about a social issue without:

  • Being passive aggressive about it
  • Guilt-tripping people into reblogging it
  • Guilt-tripping people for not knowing about it
  • Making it a piss contest over which event is worse than the other
  • Being obnoxious and making people feel bad for blogging about things unrelated

?????????????

oceanwrath: HAND TO GOD, OTHER HAND ON MY CHEST, I LIKE THESE ODDS koltira for an rp game, for @deathweaver as always <3 

oceanwrath:

HAND TO GOD, OTHER HAND ON MY CHEST, I LIKE THESE ODDS

koltira for an rp game, for @deathweaver as always <3 

Well it certainly squirted out something there.

Well it certainly squirted out something there.

deathweaver:

so y’all; what d’you suppose is in the book that anduin’s always carrying around?

The Emerald Dream: Fact or Carefully Planned Out Farce Perpetrated By My Brother By Illidan Stormrage