I think that those saying that cishet asexuals are not oppressed and that acephobia doesn’t exist are failing to remember how one’s other identifies can intersect with their asexuality.
Though I do identify as cisgender, let’s pretend for a minute that I’m heteromantic.
If you can’t tell by my url, I’m also black. A dark skinned, curvy black girl.
Black girls are heavily hypersexualized both in and outside of the black community; We’re also heavily fetishized. I’ve written paragraphs upon paragraphs about this. The amount of times I’ve heard, “Black girls are good enough to fuck but I’d never date/marry one.” is more than I can count on two hands.
Nobody wants to worry about black girls when it’s time to talk about real shit (i.e. police brutality, systematic racism, the school to prison pipeline, stereotypes effecting our access to medical care, ect), but when we present ourselves sexually all ya’ll come running… but I digress!
Assuming I was heteromantic and still identified as cis, the amount of acephobic rhetoric then intersects with misogynoir.
“But black girls are supposed to be wild in bed!”
“Black girls are only good enough to fuck, anyway.”
“At least now you won’t turn out to be a welfare queen.”
“Well you don’t LOOK asexual.”
“Asexuality is just white bullshit.”
“You’re just a strong black woman who don’t need no man. *insert snaps and an overdone head roll*”
“You’re just angry and bitter. Who hurt you?”My dark skin, body, and blackness will never be associated with asexuality. As long as asexuality is associated with innocence and lack of a sex drive, I will have 10x the work of proving my asexuality, whether I am cishet or not.
I cannot speak for how other identities intersect with the ace spectrum even though they’re cishet, as I can only speak about being a black girl. This is something I’d like ya’ll to keep in mind, however, when participating in thediscourse™.