Hmm, on the one had I do agree that there’s a lot of casual misogyny inherent in some of the gay pairings and that’s something that definitely needs to be addressed and dealt with (especially when racism is also a factor), but at the same time… I am so goddamned sick of ships in general and the compulsive need to sexualize every relationship. That attitude is just as unhealthy, IMO, and it implies that friendships aren’t possible without some sort of underlying sexual urges behind it all. Whether it’s a guy and a girl working together who are intended by the producers to have an undercurrent of UST so they can milk the will they/won’t they crap to death, or if it’s two guys (almost never two women) who work together and fandom decides that their relationship should be full of sex because what other use for them is there, it just gets really really tiring.
I understand that shipping has been a major backbone of fandoms since stories were first created, but ye gods, it’d be nice if people could remember that platonic love is also a real and valid thing and that it is no less important than the romantic/sexual kind. People can love each other as friends and go to the ends of the earth for each other without wanting to stick things in each others orifices. Two guys can be cuddly and affectionate without sex. A guy and a girl can be cuddly and affectionate without sex. Two girls can be cuddly and affectionate and, to be honest, are usually encouraged to be that way without it ever being coded as overtly sexual.
I love ships- straight, gay, bi, poly, whatever- but I also love friendships. I love seeing two people who are so confident with themselves and with each other that they aren’t afraid to show affection without it meaning they want to have sex. I wish- I really REALLY wish- that fandom had more respect for platonic and ace relationships. Yes, the LGBT community is woefully underrepresented in Hollywood and no, I’m not saying people can’t ship what they like, but maybe also show that love doesn’t have to default to sex every goddamned time.
Not every argument against a straight pairing has to have its roots in misogyny. Sometimes people are sick of sex in general. And are you seriously trying to mock someone for getting frustrated with how women in media are nearly always a romantic foil for a male protagonist? Because it’s absolutely true. How about showing women who don’t need a man (or another woman) in their life in order to be “complete” and happy? And while you’re at it, let the guys stay single, too.
Congrats on your wall of text and missing the point. This is a post about anti Blackness and you are so unaware of it you didn’t even notice.
You know what? You’re right and I apologize. I did, in fact, completely miss that those were all black/white pairings. Part of it was ignorance and part of it was another sort of ignorance. And yes, it’s a horrible issue; one that’s even worse than the casual misogyny and forced romanticism. And if color is at the root of someone’s disagreement of a pairing (even if they aren’t willing to admit it) then that’s wrong and should be called out/pointed out every time. People can’t learn how to change if they aren’t aware of what they’re doing wrong. Granted, sometimes even having it pointed out to them won’t help, but for every true racist out there there are also a bunch of people who may be ignorant but are also willing to change with a bit of education. Or I hope so, anyway. I’d really hate to think the US (and the world at large) is filled with hate-fueled mini-Trumps.
Sorry for derailing your point. I’m beginning to think I might fall on the ace side of the spectrum, so seeing hypersexualization everywhere is a bit of a sore spot for me. I’m also sorry if I came across as homophobic when my intent was more to express my (apparently badly-worded and way off base) frustration with romances in general and how women get shunned in favor of nearly fetishized gay pairings. I’ll try harder to work on that in the future and to pay more attention to where and how I say things.
Thank you for the apology.
Like the thing is, re:education: this was not intended as a education post, it started as me joking around with my friends and got widely reblogged because tumblr and tbh the expectation that I always be on and ready to educate is exhausting.
I very much support there being more friendships given equal weight as romantic ships in the media, (I’ve written about this re Agents of Shield and Warehouse 13, among other shows) but it’s disingenuous that the cries for the importance of things staying platonic come up the loudest when the ship is interracial, esp if it involves a Black woman, and/or is queer. And in my experience it’s not even mostly ace people pulling this shit, becuase why they fuck would they use their own identity to marginalize a character? (Not that it doesn’t happen, but I haven’t found it common.)
Anyway, misogynoir is a key term you may want to look into, esp how it applies to how Black women are always shoved into the sexless best friend role.
Huh. Researching the term now as it’s one I’ve never seen before, but yeah, I’ve definitely noticed how much worse off black women have it in media (and in general). A quick skim of the info makes it clear it’s worse than I realized. *sigh* It’s going to be a long, long uphill battle.
