Okay. Hear me out.
A Star Wars The Force Awakens AU where everything is the same, but BB-8 is voiced by the Moonbase Alpha text to speech engine.
POE DAMERON POE DAMERON POE DAMERON POE DAMERON AEIOU AEIOU AEIOU
JAKKU IS FLAT CONFIRMED CONFIRMED
STARKILLER BASE ALSO CONFIRMED FOR FLAT
TIME FOR ANOTHER JAKKU EARTHQUAKE BRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBR ?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!