“Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there,” and another one appears. And dodges the downward sweep of claws, darting to the side, bouncing off the pentagram’s barriers, and tripping over the demon’s tail. “In the Vatican!” she cries out as she moves, using the State Farm Agent summoning charm to modify the situation as she was taught, and mentally thanking her trainer for expecting her to be fast enough to do it on the first incantation.
Most State Farm agents, when they run into trouble, have to get the customer to do the jingle a second time. That guy with the buffalo was lucky.
The magic takes hold, and she materializes in the aisle of St. Peter’s Basilica, still holding the demon by the tail, in the middle of Sunday morning Mass. The music clatters unprofessionally to a halt as laypeople, deacons, priests, monks, nuns, and the Pope all turn their attention to the surprised demon whose fifth course of dinner has turned, unaccountably, into a visit to one of his least favorite places on Earth.
There is chanting in Latin, and vaguely cross-shaped gestures, and clouds of incense, and the demon vanishes in a puff of smoke, whether from the efforts of the clergy or of his own volition no one can say. The Agent doesn’t wait, fleeing towards the doors and escaping in the confusion.
She gains the exit and walks, purposefully, toward Rome proper; there, she ducks into the nearest alley. A burner cell phone comes out of one of the less-used pockets of her purse, and she dials a number from memory.
“Allstate,” says a smooth masculine voice after three rings.
“State Farm,” she answers. “I’m calling in a favor.”
“Yeah?” Interest. “What sort?”
As she talks she’s pulling out her smartphone, keying an app that was activated by the summoning, and pulling up the policyholder data that enabled the incantation to work.
“Insurance fraud,” she said, and can almost hear teeth sharpening on the other end of the line. She gives him the name, the address, the policy number. “Someone needs some mayhem.”
“That’s my name,” the man says.
She smiles. “Someone needs all the mayhem.”
He chuckles. Slow. Evil. Even with the echoes of demonic laughter ringing in her ears, she’s impressed. “Don’t worry,” he says, almost purring.
So, gonna start these up since I rather enjoyed doing them. Dunno how much interest they’ll be but here ya go. Giving a few different ways to pay for said commissions, though for folks who don’t wanna do it that way/don’t play GW2 there’s always the cash option.
(And before anyone asks yes, I ran around making sure this was okay to do in GW2, though if you have any hard evidence stating otherwise please don’t hesitate to send me an ask about it.)
Either way, you can pay with 20 bucks through paypal, with 200g (equivalent of buying 20$ worth of gems) or for a slightly cheaper option send me one of the Mordrem skins out of the ones I want above. NOTE however once I get those that offer will be gone. Not looking to have every single one.
Why 20 bucks? Because these take about an hour each and I an’t working for minimum wage.
Want something much bigger? I won’t offer anything for GW2 money unless it’s goddamn crazy amounts. Though I DO also do commissions.
Here’s the link to the fourm. YOU MUST FILL THIS OUT, don’t note me or e-mail me, use this: http://goo.gl/forms/87SbRlZ96o
