I have decided that Pathfinder RPG’s unnamed iconic antipaladin is named Steve.
Steve doesn’t have a tragic backstory. He wasn’t driven to evil by a broken heart or a loss of faith or anything like that. He’s just a petty dickbag who gets off on hurting people and grew up without anyone ever calling him on it. He is every adolescent douche who thinks being an asshole “for the lulz” is funny. He kicks piggies for fun. He is truly irredeemable. He IS Chaotic Evil.
what she says: i’m fine
what she means: Ashley. Katchadourian. You were supposed to be watching the door. YOU. WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING THE DOOR. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING THE DOOR. ASHLEY KATCHADOURIAN. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE ARE, ASHLEY KATCHADOURIAN? THESE ARE A LITTLE GIRL’S ARMS. A LITTLE GIRL WITH DREAMS, WITH LEGS, WITH A HEAD. SHE’S A PENCIL. SHE’S A SWIZZLE STICK! YOU CAN USE HER AS A POOL NOODLE! AND NOW I’M HOLDING UP HER ARMS! I’M HOLDING THEM BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T WATCH THE DOOR. A GIRL LOST HER ARMS, ASHLEY KATCHADOURIAN. A GIRL LOST HER FUCKING ARMS. DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT HAS TRANSPIRED WHILE YOU WERE IN PEARL HARBOR? SEEING A FUCKING JAPANESE MUSEUM? WE HAD OUR OWN PEARL HARBOR HERE TODAY. OH MY GOD. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US? YOU LITERALLY BOMBED US! LIKE THE JAPANESE YOU ARE. AND ME. I’M BEN AFFLECK. I’M BEN AFFLECK, AND I’M HOLDING TWO FUCKING GIRL’S ARMS. AND YOU’RE CUBA GOODING JUNIOR, DISAPPOINTING EVERYBODY. LIVE WITH THAT!
