somebody in my school literally asked someone to prom by shaving it into his horse with the harry potter font
god
if you ever meet a boy who the phrase “he shaved the message into his horse” could ever apply to
do not take him to prom
What on earth is wrong with being someone capable of shaving a message into a horse!? Are you anti-horse owning? Anti-horse-shaving? Anti-cute-harry-potter-horse-themed-shenanigans? I am perplexed.
vondell-swain: edwardspoonhands: vondell-swain: harem-pants: somebody in my school literally asked someone to prom by shaving it into his horse with the harry potter font god if you ever meet a boy who the phrase “he shaved the message into his horse” could ever apply to
bitterivy: Looking for Loot?
jacquerel: catbountry: uninstallwizard: misslizbian: Some of the worst analogies written by high school students. more like best analogies I really do love these analogies. always reblog these are beautiful
Some of the worst analogies written by high school students.
more like best analogies
I really do love these analogies.
always reblog
these are beautiful
How is this not on my dashboard like 5 times already Ashbringer by *breathing2004
this one sophomore in my bio class has these sweatpants that are really baggy and have the american flag printed on them and one time we were in class and the kid next to him was crying (I think his friends were fighting with him idk he’s sensitive) and then the american pants kid farted somewhat loudly and the crying kid whisper hissed you just farted on america
and cried more
People from Tumblr have the best stories.
superbloopers: ok one more Bird Hair
You know, as far north as they live…
You’d think most blood elves would wear more clothing.
We do what we must, chum.: Fleas? What about ’em?
We do what we must, chum.: Fleas? What about ’em?
Well… s’yer name, innit? Barky! Why would I be callin’ ya anythin’ else? Or Per’aps you’d prefer Sir Erasmus Q. Barkentin the Third, Esq, eh?
But… that’s not even my first name!
It is now!
Did y’forget that I ‘ave the legal power ta make that ‘appen?
‘Sides, I’m sure s’bettah than yer original name, anyway. What was yer prior-name-that-is-now-fiction-and-never-were, out of curiosity?
But if you did that, I’d have to change all my stationary!
We do what we must, chum.: Fleas? What about ’em?
We do what we must, chum.: Fleas? What about ’em?
So, Barky brought up th’question of fleas. I’m sure that some of ya mighta been thinkin’ what ol’ Crowley would ‘ave to say about this particular topic.
Well, if I were wunna those true-blooded Gilneans, I’d likely say somethin’ like…
*Lord Crowley exercises his best falsetto and hand-flopping.*
“Well, I never! As if any self-respecting Gilnean would even entertain the thought of being host to a parasitic creature as vile as a flea. Sir, you’ve insulted my dignity and I won’t have it!”
I, ‘owever, am not such a Gilnean.
So… fleas? Let’s be ‘onest, ‘oo gives a damn? All creatures’re out fer their own survival, us worgen too. Circle of life’n all that, innit? So if a worgen ‘as a flea or two, s’just natural. I’m thinkin’ it’d be a bit paradoxical to ‘ate on nature as a worgen, don’cha think, chum?
Oh dear, he’s taken to calling me ‘Barky’ again…
Well… s’yer name, innit? Barky! Why would I be callin’ ya anythin’ else? Or Per’aps you’d prefer Sir Erasmus Q. Barkentin the Third, Esq, eh?
But… that’s not even my first name!